shes gone...
There's no death that is easy, no death that is okay. From a fish to a human being there is no closure.
My dog Carya died today. She was and will forever remain, my best friend. She was my companion. Whenever something went wrong, she'd come over and nudge her nose into my arm and she make me smile. I still smell her as I am sitting here in my finished basement in which she spent most of her time in. The smell is all the closure I have at this moment. Her 8th birthday was January 31st, we gave her hash and eggs- she loved it so much and savered the moment. That night I went to Wal-Mart because I had to buy her a birthday present, I ended up getting her a bone that she loved and adored.
Freezbe is no longer, the way she'd run after it and catch it. When she caught it I'd clap and pet her- she was extremely excited because she knew she accomplished something. In my eyes she accomplished everything, she made me smile in ways no human could. The way she'd jump onto our trampoline and scooch down when we made her jump in the air, or the times she'd bite the bottom of the trampoline- I can't even begin to tell you how many holes are in it.
I made my dad call the doctor on Friday because she was acting sick. So he did and we got her a Monday appointment. We took her to the groomers and did a "do it yourself" grooming with her so she'd smell good for the doctors. She was such a good girl, sat in there and only shook and got me wet twice. I kissed her and hugged her because she was a bit nervous. Trying to make her stand up on all fours so we could wash underneather her was hard to do, she'd just squat back down and look at us. We got her home and my dad trimmed her, and I held her down as she got the fur on her ears cut. On Monday my dad and me always bring her to the vet together because she is my baby. This time I didn't go. Ray (my dads friend) wanted to visit my Grandma and Grandpa and I had homework to do. My dad returned home on Monday and said that they are going to run a few tests on her. I yelled at him for leaving her there because I never thought staying over night was good enough for my little puppy. The doctor called on Tuesday and said that she is missing white blood cells and that it's because she needed to be neutered. He did this Wednesday (today) morning. Easy enough right? He goes in and does an operation and comes back out because its the most common surgury known to vets. Wrong, they opened her up and was doing the surgury and then when he "clipped" or did whatever he needed to do the blood vessels wouldn't respond. They shocked her, but she didn't come back. Nor will she ever be back again, but she will forever remain in my heart.
The vet called this morning and asked for my Dad, they said they are having complications my mom asked what was wrong. They just said they needed to talk to my dad. My mom called my dad at work, and he called the vet. My dad just told his forman and left work. I heard someone crying, I didn't know who it was, but they ran into my room and I was half asleep.. it was my dad. He came into my room crying hysterically and I knew, I sat there in shock. And screamed...I blamed it on the doctor.. "that bastard" was all I could say. This is only the third time I've ever seen my dad cry.. exp. like this. My sister ran into my room where my dad was sitting on my bed and I told her.. she ran into her room.
Today is the worst day of my life.
She should have lived 4 to 6 more years, but no, she was robbed of her life. I was robbed from the time I had with her. I didn't get to say goodbye- I always told my dad that if he EVER had to put her asleep I didn't want her to be alone I wanted to hold her as the injection went in and I wanted her to be able to look into my eyes and know that I love her.
As lame you all might think this entry is, to me it isn't. She is just like a person to me, and when I said she's my best friend I mean it. I will miss my greetings when comming home from school and I will miss her barking in the morning knowing that I had to let her outside. I love the fact we never had to chain her, she could run free in the yard, and I will miss how every summer I will always treat her to a walk to the river for her to play in and for her. I will miss her "bobbing" for rocks in the river and her baths that we gave her in the river in the summer times. I will miss everything about her, because she was everything and more to me.
I only wish I could have held her, and that I would have went to the Vet on Monday to hug her and kiss her as she stayed over night there. Instead her last two days of her life was spent in an animal hospital. If I knew she was going to die, I would have done so much more to make sure she was okay.
What I am thankful for is the time I had with her, because she was worth all this hurt and pain I am feeling right now. The tears won't stop, and the memories will remain.
Carya? What a name you might say. Carya means "Hickory" and Hickory was my last dogs name. It was basically a tribute. Just a little fact for you to know.
I miss her :-\ It's not fair.
( My Puppy...Collapse )
PS: if there is a REALLY good Icon maker I was wondering if you could make me an icon? :-\
My dog Carya died today. She was and will forever remain, my best friend. She was my companion. Whenever something went wrong, she'd come over and nudge her nose into my arm and she make me smile. I still smell her as I am sitting here in my finished basement in which she spent most of her time in. The smell is all the closure I have at this moment. Her 8th birthday was January 31st, we gave her hash and eggs- she loved it so much and savered the moment. That night I went to Wal-Mart because I had to buy her a birthday present, I ended up getting her a bone that she loved and adored.
Freezbe is no longer, the way she'd run after it and catch it. When she caught it I'd clap and pet her- she was extremely excited because she knew she accomplished something. In my eyes she accomplished everything, she made me smile in ways no human could. The way she'd jump onto our trampoline and scooch down when we made her jump in the air, or the times she'd bite the bottom of the trampoline- I can't even begin to tell you how many holes are in it.
I made my dad call the doctor on Friday because she was acting sick. So he did and we got her a Monday appointment. We took her to the groomers and did a "do it yourself" grooming with her so she'd smell good for the doctors. She was such a good girl, sat in there and only shook and got me wet twice. I kissed her and hugged her because she was a bit nervous. Trying to make her stand up on all fours so we could wash underneather her was hard to do, she'd just squat back down and look at us. We got her home and my dad trimmed her, and I held her down as she got the fur on her ears cut. On Monday my dad and me always bring her to the vet together because she is my baby. This time I didn't go. Ray (my dads friend) wanted to visit my Grandma and Grandpa and I had homework to do. My dad returned home on Monday and said that they are going to run a few tests on her. I yelled at him for leaving her there because I never thought staying over night was good enough for my little puppy. The doctor called on Tuesday and said that she is missing white blood cells and that it's because she needed to be neutered. He did this Wednesday (today) morning. Easy enough right? He goes in and does an operation and comes back out because its the most common surgury known to vets. Wrong, they opened her up and was doing the surgury and then when he "clipped" or did whatever he needed to do the blood vessels wouldn't respond. They shocked her, but she didn't come back. Nor will she ever be back again, but she will forever remain in my heart.
The vet called this morning and asked for my Dad, they said they are having complications my mom asked what was wrong. They just said they needed to talk to my dad. My mom called my dad at work, and he called the vet. My dad just told his forman and left work. I heard someone crying, I didn't know who it was, but they ran into my room and I was half asleep.. it was my dad. He came into my room crying hysterically and I knew, I sat there in shock. And screamed...I blamed it on the doctor.. "that bastard" was all I could say. This is only the third time I've ever seen my dad cry.. exp. like this. My sister ran into my room where my dad was sitting on my bed and I told her.. she ran into her room.
Today is the worst day of my life.
She should have lived 4 to 6 more years, but no, she was robbed of her life. I was robbed from the time I had with her. I didn't get to say goodbye- I always told my dad that if he EVER had to put her asleep I didn't want her to be alone I wanted to hold her as the injection went in and I wanted her to be able to look into my eyes and know that I love her.
As lame you all might think this entry is, to me it isn't. She is just like a person to me, and when I said she's my best friend I mean it. I will miss my greetings when comming home from school and I will miss her barking in the morning knowing that I had to let her outside. I love the fact we never had to chain her, she could run free in the yard, and I will miss how every summer I will always treat her to a walk to the river for her to play in and for her. I will miss her "bobbing" for rocks in the river and her baths that we gave her in the river in the summer times. I will miss everything about her, because she was everything and more to me.
I only wish I could have held her, and that I would have went to the Vet on Monday to hug her and kiss her as she stayed over night there. Instead her last two days of her life was spent in an animal hospital. If I knew she was going to die, I would have done so much more to make sure she was okay.
What I am thankful for is the time I had with her, because she was worth all this hurt and pain I am feeling right now. The tears won't stop, and the memories will remain.
Carya? What a name you might say. Carya means "Hickory" and Hickory was my last dogs name. It was basically a tribute. Just a little fact for you to know.
I miss her :-\ It's not fair.
( My Puppy...Collapse )
PS: if there is a REALLY good Icon maker I was wondering if you could make me an icon? :-\